So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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