oh god the rape fog is back!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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