I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
