So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
