That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
