I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
