So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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