She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
