I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You made out with two different species that night
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
