Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
