oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
