guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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