I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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