I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
