super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
