my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
