Just fell off a train. Bad.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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