Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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