Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
