I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
