another moral hangover. fuck.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
