i think my tv is drunk
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
