please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
