he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
