He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
