Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
