why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
