this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
