So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
