Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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