I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I supernannyed him into submission
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
