come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize