their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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