Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
