Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
