Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
