at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
