I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
