He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize