So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
