the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
