Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize