youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
