forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
