This girl is more easily done than said...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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