so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
