I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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