Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
