I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize