why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
