It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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