shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
