Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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