There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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