yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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