Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
