I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
