I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
