I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
