i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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