Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
