is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
