At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize