sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
