If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
