im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
